Every little bit of food... and stop.

So, yesterday, I refused to just make anything I want to eat and shove it in my mouth, like the gluttonous girl that I am (apparently). And decided to stop, step back from my refrigerator and actually think about food as healing rather than just eat it all up in one big yummy binge while sitting in front of my computer (working from home). And, yeah, I said girl. I know, I'm a 50 year old woman, but age is just a number, and I do not feel a day over 4, or maybe 11, I dunno. I still feel the same way that I did when I was a kid, but my body has been around on this planet for 50 years. I should feel like a fully functioning adult (which I am) but I still don't "feel" old. I just am. It's what it is. I still say girl, but that's just me.

Anyways.... I don't know why I feel the need to explain that, but just do.

Back to me standing in front of my refrigerator staring at ice cream, and bagels and cream cheese and everything I don't want to put in my mouth right now (or yesterday to be exact).

So here's what I decided to do. I decided to find foods that I thought might be good for me, one little piece of food at a time. That's how I am going to do this. Food in small doses. Innocent little foods that don't mean to harm me, and that actually want to heal me. And, to pay attention to how I feel after I eat them. My body will tell me everything I need to know, if I just listen to it. I just have the feeling.

Does that sound weird? It is. But, I'm going with it.

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9:15 AM

Breakfast: 

1 hard boiled egg

1 kiwi fruit

1 carrot

1 large glass of water (more than 16 ounces)

Not all at the same time. I was chopping up a carrot and sharing with my guinea pigs, and decided I would eat some carrot too.

The boiled egg was what I wanted for breakfast, and after the rather large carrot I had munched on before the boiled eggs were done, I didn't feel too hungry so I just ate 1 boiled egg. I then decided I should probably eat something more than that, so I grabbed a kiwi fruit from the basket and ate it.

45 mins later I felt pretty amazing.

11:00 AM

Snack:

1 small handful of mixed nuts (almonds, pecans, cashews, peanuts, hazelnuts)

1 large glass of water

45 mins later I had a slight bit of heartburn, it wasn't that bad but the fats in the nuts obviously got me.

Did I mention I have acid reflux disease as well as IBS? Yup. I suffer from foods and it's even worse because I am overweight, sadly.

1 chewable antacid - blah!

2:00 PM

Lunch:

I didn't feel like eating any lunch, but I did eat something...

1/4 of a bagel (that's half a bagel cut in half) with a small amount of cream cheese.

1 large glass of iced water

10 mins later felt pretty weak. Did not like how I felt after I ate that bit of bagel. Decided the carbs and sugars are making me feel like crap. I wasn't hungry. I just felt woozy, and yucky. Possibly from being pre-diabetic.

I was so glad I was eating things in small portions and paying attention to how I felt.

6:30 PM

Dinner:

1 Large Baby Kale, Spinach and Lettuce Salad (just the greens)

4 Tablespoons of Italian Dressing. I like a lot of dressing, I just love the tangy stuff, so yum.

1 half of a rotisserie chicken (just white meat with some skin)

1 large glass of iced water.

30 minutes later I felt amazing. Nothing like some good yummy greens and meat.

Overall I felt good about how I ate, but the bagel kicked my butt. I really don't process carbs and sugars as well as I wish I did.

So, that was my first day of trying to eat better. I don't even want to tell you how many oreo cookies I ate the day before I started this. And, yeah, it was a mistake but I wasn't paying attention and I was just pretending for that moment that my name was Cookie Monster.

I need to stop identifying with Sesame Street characters. But, you know... Hangry? That's Oscar the grouch. And, no I don't wanna be Elmo. I'm more like Grover, but not as skinny. I like Grover. Grover I can do. Female Grover.

Okay, see what happens when I start thinking?

Today is a whole new day....

Out of curiosity I decided to do one of those quizzes online "Which Sesame Street Character are you?"

My answers were:

Pick a color: Blue

How would you describe yourself: Uninhibited

What is your dream superpower?: To Fly

Pick a Snack: Apple

When you grow up you want to be?: A dietitian

Which is your favorite animated flick: Lady and the Tramp

Which is your favorite children's book: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Which is your favorite toy: Crayons

And, my answer was still..... "Cookie Monster" as much as I desire to be a skinny Grover, because I love him and his personality I'm hiding the fact that my shadow self is really Cookie Monster.

If you want to take the quiz yourself for fun, I will link it below to the URL for that quiz.

I do love Cookie Monster.... surprised actually. Is God trying to tell me something? Like, be fat and happy? LOL

No no, that's just my tummy trying to get it's way.

This is what it says: [link]

Like Cookie Monster, there's a lot more to you than meets the eye. You appear to be a highly motivated individual with one goal in mind. But in reality, you're quite a complicated figure. While you sometimes get obsessive over things, you're lovable, extremely emotional, and incredibly bright (e.g., Monsterpiece Theatre host Alistair Cookie). Though you have trouble controlling your emotions, it's just because you care so much! Also, you refuse to give in to political correctness (everything in moderation, right?). And yes, you have quite the sweet tooth!